In the beginning there were these friends …

Every couple has a story as to how or why they entered the lifestyle. Many have common themes but quite a few are unique. We like to think we fall into the latter group. So, here is our story …

Back in 1981 Donna met a couple, let’s call them Fran and Mike, through a former boyfriend.  She happened to meet them just a few weeks before they were to be married. After Fran and Mike tied the knot their friendship with Donna continued to blossom even after her relationship with the boyfriend faded.  Alex appeared on the picture about a year later and of course Donna wanted her friends to meet him.  Sometimes it is awkward when a new boyfriend parachutes into an established friendship but that was not the case here. Alex clicked with Fran and Mike, and they clicked with Alex and the friendship took-off. We’d get together for dinner and a movie or just hang out at their house when they couldn’t get a sitter, by now they had two kids. Mike, who has an outrageous sense of humor, would joke (or so we thought) while watching a movie at their home that we should exchange partners. We’d laugh and make light of his offer. Over time our movie nights turned into double features with the second feature being a porn movie, usually with some hot girl-girl action. After a few months Donna and Fran switched places on the couch. With the lights dim and porn on TV, kissing and touching eventually led to oral and the four of us no longer needed the porn.

What we later found out was that Fran really, really wanted Donna. So this seduction was not as spontaneous as it may sound. But in reality, none of us really knew about the lifestyle. At one-point Mike used to joke that we were swingers, we’d all laugh and then get back to the task at hand.

As the occasional play time evolved into a regular thing the four of us would occasionally discuss what we were doing. Since we really didn’t know about the lifestyle, we didn’t have the language to describe what we were doing. To us it was just swapping partners. If we had to give it a label, it was a consensual non-monogamous, monogamous relationship. This four-way soft swap relationship continued for a good number of years. But over time we started to see less of the them. Though they are exactly our age their kids were a bit older than ours, so their family schedule was a bit different than ours. The logistics of getting together was getting more and more challenging. Also, they developed a habit of canceling on us at the last minute. We sensed something was going on in their lives, but they didn’t communicate anything to us.  In retrospect, they probably didn’t know how to end the sexual part of our relationship. The last few times we saw them it was for drinks and dinner only. We were disappointed and frustrated but we realized that we had to move one. And move on we did…

We learned a lot from our relationship with Fran and Mike … but we still knew little about the lifestyle. For that matter, we still didn’t really know that there was a lifestyle or that we were in it, we just thought we were your average couple who happen to be non-monogamous with friends. Then we found Desire …

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