Age, don’t let that number stop you

Three things in life are guaranteed. We are all going to pay taxes. We are all going to get older. And, we are all going to die.  We talked about death in the lifestyle in a previous post and we are not going anywhere near the subject of taxes, so that leaves us with age or for that matter aging.  

As much as we would like to deny it, we are all getting older. As we write this post, we are getting older. As you read this post you are getting older. Does this sound scary? Did we unnerve you? Wait, don’t go away …  

Who hasn’t heard someone say that “age is just a number” or “you are like red wine, getting better with age”?  Both aphorisms are true to a point but is age just a number? And do we get better with age?  

A lot comes with age and a lot of that is baggage. Since the underlying theme here is living the Lifestyle as an older human let’s stick to that line of baggage. Rarely do we think of our parents or grandparents as having sex. That’s a visual that stays packed away and usually just shared with your therapist, that is if you have one.  

Many if not most of us were raised in homes where sex or anything related to “it” were not discussed. And just the slightest hint of “old” people having sex would bring on snickers. But for many of us when we reach our fifties, a new chapter of our lives is just beginning. The kids are out or getting out of the house, our responsibilities are shifting, and we can start focusing on ourselves. It’s a time to reignite the fun and intimacy like when we first started dating. Remember that “new relationship energy” or NRE that we all felt? Now is the time we should be getting it back but with the wisdom and experience that comes with maturity.  

Whether you are new to the lifestyle or have some experience under your belt now you  have the freedom to try new things. Nothing like walking around the house wearing something sexy or nothing at all. If you are worried about the neighbors close the blinds, or not. Be daring, be spontaneous. The kitchen counter is a great surface for spontaneity just don’t burn dinner. When was the last time you played in the family room or garage? Mix it up and let go. Have fun and enjoy.  

You should also push your boundaries and experiment with new types of play that you have only read about … for instance, we enjoy shopping for new toys together and talking with other shoppers. We find that it helps percolate new ideas and you never know what fantasies suddenly come front and forward.  

Do you have play friends visiting from out-of-town? How about hosting a small get together for your local play friends? You do have the house to yourself! Sense a theme here?  

Mind over matter is important. You can’t think of yourselves as old. If you think old, then you will be old. We don’t think of ourselves as old and couples twenty years our junior seem to enjoy our company in and out of the bedroom.  

We live in a time where “mature” people are healthier and thus living longer. Also, we are leading more active lives, we are not just talking about tennis or pickleball.  And, sexually speaking we are not living like our parents and grandparents.  Older adults are sexual beings just like younger folk, maybe even better. Age brings experience and hopefully wisdom. We have all made mistakes as “kids” (we dare you to deny it) but hopefully we have learned from those mistakes and attained more “social” skills.  

Pack away the baggage and think young. By acting young people of all ages will react to you differently. Try it and enjoy it, we have.    


Donna & Alex  

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