“I drink to make other people more interesting” is a quote attributed to Ernest Hemingway, a person who in our opinion was very wise, and reported to drink way too much alcohol. But is this why you drink to make folks in the lifestyle more interesting more interesting?
Alcohol and the lifestyle seem to be joined at the hip. Though there is a fair use of cannabis and to a lesser extent other drugs, we have never gone to a lifestyle event, club or resort where there was never copious amounts of alcohol being consumed. So, is this just social foreplay or is it something else?
Before we delve into this topic let us be transparent and say that we are NOT teetotalers. We enjoy our cocktails and a glass of wine. Donna has been known to enjoy shots, even a body shot or two at the Desire Pearl hot tub. Rarely will you find us hammered. We wish we could say the same for many couples we have met through our travels through the lifestyle.
If you have been following us, you may remember that we have admitted that we suck at flirting. Even though Alex is outgoing (Donna less so) we find it hard to walk into a room filled with strangers and start working it … so we have found that a beverage when we arrive and a second in hand while we walk around has from time-to-time helped us improve our game.
Alcohol is the WD-40 of social events, and it never hurts having a social lubricant. A drink or two “loosens” up even the most reserved folks. But how much lubrication do you really need? And sometimes too much “lube” can be a bad thing …
No one can deny the fun times we have all had while imbibing. Up to a point alcohol can fuel the libido; throw in a Viagra or Cialis and you can have an amazing night. Some of the fun is that “liquid courage” lowers inhibitions getting us to explore our fantasies. Suddenly our anxieties about performance or whether others will find us attractive seem to disappear. But is it all fun and games? To draw a bit of an analogy from Cicero’s parable of the sword of Damocles. Sometimes good is countered by not so good. Just as drinking can add to the fun it can also become a buzz kill. Just think, lowered inhibitions can cause us to drop our social filters which in turn can have some bad consequences.
We have all suffered from regrettable experiences. Who hasn’t woken up the next morning and as the fog of the past evening proclivities clears you have had that OMG feeling thinking about what you did and with whom?? Or possibly feelings of jealousy having seen your partner doing things that they don’t do with you? Or maybe worse, feelings of guilt that your partner saw you in the throes of passion that they may not have seen from you in your bedroom?
If you find that you are drinking more at lifestyle events than you would at vanilla gatherings step back and ask yourself why. Is it increasing in order to get you into the groove? Or maybe to assuage some guilt? Step back and do a deep dive into your feelings. It never hurts to do some introspection and to try to get a bearing on your feelings. You may be surprised what you find out.
What are your thoughts??
Donna & Alex