From time to time many if not all of us have missed opportunities and suffered from FOMO, or fear of missing out. How many times have you passed up on attending a party or event and then were left wondering what have we missed? What fun we could have had?? We’ve experienced FOMO many times over our years journeying through the lifestyle. Sometimes it is unavoidable. For the past two years we missed going to Podcast-a-Palooza aka PCAP. One year we missed it because of a kid’s graduation, and another was because it was too close to our daughter’s wedding. We think both were good excuses (it would have been a little hard to explain why we would have missed both momentous family events) but we still felt some pangs of FOMO. Especially when friends were posting updates with pictures on their social feeds. But there were other times we passed up on parties because one of us just couldn’t get in the zone and then realized that it was a dumb move for, we missed amazing opportunities to meet couples and make new LS friends.
But what about the times we came face-to-face with opportunities but missed out because we just weren’t thinking? Oh, the opportunities that we let slip between our fingers. We still talk about our first trip to Desire, and we will never forget the missed opportunity that presented itself to us on our first day at the resort. We met this great couple in the pool. She was floating around on a floatie, and he was spending a lot of time buried in a book but showing up from time to time alongside his wife or at the pool bar. We chatted and really connected, we should have asked them to join us for dinner, but we were “newbies” and didn’t know that this is a sign of your interest. That evening’s entertainment was casino night. The disco was converted into a casino, and everyone was dressed formally, well formal for Desire. Donna was playing craps and was on a winning streak, probably dice virgins’ luck. Up saunters this attractive couple who then flank Donna, cheering on her every roll. And by cheering, I mean like yelling out “way to go Donna” all while cozying on up to her. Meanwhile while Donna continued to win, she was wondering “who is this couple and how do they know my name?” She continued to play for a bit and then moved on with her winnings to another table instead of trying to “close the deal” with them. A short while later Donna realized that they were the couple from the pool who we were chatting with earlier in the day. We never did see them again, we found out the next morning at breakfast that they had left for home earlier that morning. Well, we missed that one.
Just to show you that we still mess up … several months ago we were visiting NYC for a few days and while waiting for an elevator in our hotel’s lobby to take us up to our room a couple also waiting for the elevator started chatting with us and asked a very NY question, if we had any recommendations for where they can get a good pastrami sandwich. Now, a NY pastrami sandwich is one of our favorites, so we gave them a couple of suggestions. The elevator arrived and we all got in together. On our ride up we asked them where they were from, and it turned out that they lived in a town less than hour from our home. With that the door opened on their floor they said goodbye and the door closed behind them. Then it struck us that, that may have been their pick-up line. Original yes, but DUH! If we were better at this, we should have offered to take them to one of the delis we recommended so we can all indulge together … well another missed opportunity! So, if you happen to be reading this and you were staying at the Renaissance Hotel in mid-town Manhattan and live in Weston, Florida and were moving to the Palm Beach area please drop us a line.
The first story was from years ago when we were somewhat newbies and the second occurred this year at a point in our journey where you might say that we are pretty experienced. The take-away of this is that you always have to have your eyes and ears open. You should be on the lookout for visual and verbal cues. Keep in mind that the other couple may not be any better at this than you are so they too may be searching for those cues. And yes, it is possible to meet “swingers in the wild.”
Donna & Alex