We are a society of labels. Everything is labeled. Some are important and some not so.
Food is a great place to start. Many food labels are important. For instance, nutritional information is not just informative but could be vital to those managing their sodium intake or carbs. Allergen information can be lifesaving. If organic food is your thing, then it steers your shopping decisions. And a vegan label is very helpful if that’s your jam.
But some labels that we encounter is everyday life are downright silly. Do we have to be warned that cigarette smoking is bad for our health? Or that a hot cup of coffee is hot? We’re surprised that razors don’t carry a warning that they are sharp.
Like food, people are labeled too. These labels are either given to us or we give them to ourselves. Let’s look at the former first. People label us based upon what they see, hear and perceive, so the labels may vary, and some may not be at all flattering.
Labeling ourselves is a form of self-identification or self-marketing. We’re announcing “this is who we are.” So you should be very thoughtful when posting your profile on one of the LS dating sites. The checklist provided by the site is limited so we can wind up pigeonholing ourselves. For instance, some folks check off “soft” swap but in reality, they would be “full” with the right couple, so they are really “full situational” which is not a choice provided. And the same could be true when you check off “full” but again it really depends on the situation. Many people are really curious about their bi side, so the “bi curious” label is accurate but as we know “bi ness” comes in so many different flavors. But once we are done with the check list, we come to the area that all sites provide which is to describe yourselves in a bit of detail.
At this point you really must be thoughtful about what you write. This is important because if your flipped someone’s switch on the checklist then this is where they go to learn more about you. So, think long and hard as to how you want to present yourselves. Remember, this is an ad and like any ad, the copy is important. You want to attract people not send them packing. It’s been over a dozen years since we posted our first profile, and we spent a bit of time writing and rewriting the copy. We kept our personal narrative brief, but not too brief and we think it is engaging, witty and a bit irreverent. It must have worked for within a week of our original posting we met an amazing couple for dinner and more and who have become close friends in addition to amazing playmates. But your profile is not inscribed in stone. Over the years, we have rewritten it numerous times. We haven’t really changed, but our play style along with what we are seeking has evolved. Thus, how we use and define labels has been refined. So based on these changes we have become clearer on what we are seeking and maybe more importantly what we are not seeking. And though we now rely less on the sites to meet new people we are very much aware that this profile is our ad that those perusing the sites will see, so the labels we use are critical.
Hopefully you understand that labels are important, not just for food but for people too. If it’s a label given to us, then we have an idea about how we are perceived. Depending on the label we may want to look in the mirror and make changes or maybe not! And for labels that we have given ourselves, then we own them. That’s us! So, be clear, succinct and honest and it will help you meet some of the best people.
XOXO,
Donna & Alex